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| Do Bribes Work? |
 Shannon writes, "A bribe occurs before the expectation is met in hopes that it will be met. A reward occurs upon completion. A bribe does not increase the likelihood of the behavior occurring or repeating, but goals and reward systems can. Here's how."
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Parents are always looking for ways to motivate their kids. As an example, with school in full swing some parents use money as a motivator for grades. If you are one of these parents, chances are you do not offer up the funds at the beginning of the semester in anticipation of the good grades. You're probably thinking "Of course not! I want the proof (grade) first." True! That is the key difference between a bribe and a reward.
A bribe occurs before the expectation is met in hopes that it will be met (i.e. giving a child candy while you shop so they won't scream or misbehave). A reward occurs upon completion. A bribe does not increase the likelihood of the behavior occurring or repeating, but goals and reward systems can.
The idea behind using any form of reinforcement to change behavior requires several key pieces:
1. Clearly outline the behavior you want to see, rather than focusing on what you don't want to see.
2. Define a clear time frame for this expectation to be.
3. How successfully this will be achieved is clear. 100% performance is not realistic.
4. The reward delivery is noted. (what and when)
5. Follow through and give feedback at regular intervals to support the behavior you want to see.
6. The agreement is short term and time limited.
I am not condoning or condemning the reward of grades. It's simply a concrete example of the difference between a bribe and a reward. You can reward a multitude of behaviors based on what you want to address or the behavior you want to shape. This includes anything from following through on responsibilities, using respectful language, and sharing, etc.
Rewards and goals increase independence, responsibility and respect. They are used to quickly move away from a crisis in order to address the bigger picture. Privileges to use t.v., video games, computer time, etc. are earned (keyword) for completing responsibilities. Today, with access to so many "things," parents often feel overwhelmed and stuck when their children act entitled or act out when they don't get what they want or enough of what they want.
There is a system behind using rewards effectively as a short term parenting intervention and for reshaping undesirable behavior. There is evidence supporting behavioral interventions as the most effective, long term and positive means of changing behavior. Once the behavior is addressed and parents can understand what the real goal of a child or teen's behavior is they can modify their parenting strategies to raise respectful, independent kids, to avoid power struggles and have happier families.
Feel free to contact me at 761-7677 for more resources.
Shannon Miles, MFT
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Posted on Sep 08, 2011 14:34pm.
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